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Cedarwood Soap

from Self Care by Nursing

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lyrics

Honeybun,
Do I have your permission to drown?
I want to drink you until my lungs fail
Touch until my skin leaves me
I’ve felt the sting of local indifference
When they scream “no mercy”
They mean it
I know that cold all too well
And it made me
Disagreeable
You can throw your love
Down my throat
all you want
But I have this habit
Of finding death in all walks of life
And stuffing my face with second chances
You can fuck me
Just don’t ever let me in
Not as long as there’s still part of you
That wants to see tomorrow
You don’t want to find yourself
In my body
I spent years in the underlife
Without so much as a thought or a prayer
I am
what I did
And I was
What was done to me
I am the cracks in your bathroom mirror
You can’t help but look
We lust for the worst parts of ourselves
We shut our eyes and hope for a nightmare
I would use you for a hot bath
I would use you for a quick rinse
You can use me back
But I won’t feel it
It will be as if you never touched me
Heartbreak seems so tedious
When you sleep
In the mouth
Of God’s fathomless
Hatred

credits

from Self Care, released March 19, 2021

license

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Nursing Boston, Massachusetts

Nursing is
Jonathan Jasperse
Tony Castrato

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